Inside the enemy

After asking me a few questions regarding my condition, the doctor, an orthopedic surgeon, suggest me to do a MRI scan. I was damn excited!! Why shouldn’t I? It is probably the coolest thing that will ever happen to me. To see the fancy MRI machine, to be in it, to have the result of me inside it. Yeah… This will make me happy for few hours at least.

I was excited. Super excited when they first tell me that I’m going into the MRI machine. But it soon become a nightmare when the MRI operator tell me that I will have to stay inside the machine for 45 minutes. Yeah, that’s how long it takes to do a MRI scan of your lumbar. Or probably it takes the same amount of time regardless of the part of the body.

The machine doesn’t look like what I’ve imagined. I was expecting some huge robot like machine with a cylindrical hole in its belly where I will lay as if I’m wearing a robot suit. Instead, it looks like a hamburger, one slice of bread on the floor, another on the top, and there is the bed in the middle where I lay like a piece of cheese.

The machine operator instructed me not to move if I hear the sound of the machine. “Dut dut dut dut dut dut dut” she said. So I obeyed. So she left the room and the machine started to make many different kind of sounds after that. I try not to move as much as possible. After few minutes of sounds and silents, the music started. Note this, they play music in the MRI room so you don’t get bored!!. I didn’t know that. That was interesting. But, there is a big “but” here. The first song that they played was “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter. What the ****. I have to admit that I do like that song. But, you are playing this when I’m inside the damn MRI machine where I might be diagnosed with Cancer!! you got to be kidding me.

Long story short, the 45 minutes passed. I have to wait for the result which will come out 3 hours later. So, I went out for lunch.

My friends and my coworkers who knows that I’m doing a MRI scan all sending me wishes like “hope nothing is serious there”. I started to think about the possible result of the MRI scan. I remember the movie 50/50 where Joseph Gordon-Levitt got a cancer in his back. That’s what I think to be the worst scenario. However, learning from experiences, I’ve never guessed right in something like this. I normally expect the worst but nothing horrible really happen. I will imagine that my Mom is probably dead if she’s been sleeping for more than 8 hours. She normally only sleeps like 4 hours a day. I imagine my friend has an accident when he’s late. But, they never really happen, yet.

So, I came back 3 hours later expecting a cancer, or something worst. And learning from experience, I know that there won’t be any cancer. But the unknown is always surprising. It wasn’t cancer. But, it wasn’t a good news either. The doctor says that it’s not too bad. It’s just some “disk sleep”. I gave a disbelieve look, “a what?” I thought to myself. He show me the MRI result and pointing to my backbone showing some soft looking object called the spinal disk between my back bones sections. Two of which look different and showing that they “slipped” out of it socket and touching the nerves. And he explained that, since the slip is more toward the left side, that’s why the pain is felt on my left thigh.

Oh well, at least it’s not a cancer. Can it be cured? not with medication. Medication will just ease the pain, but it will not goes back to normal. But, doing some exercises might strengthen my back tissue that will help reduce the symptoms and hopefully I don’t have to do surgery.

Voila, and that’s the story of my life. I’m 25 and finally there is something already completely broken in me. I guess I will be just happy to live with it and hopefully it doesn’t strike back or get any worst. Surgery sounds scary for me. I don’t want to be cut open. My dad is a traditional doctor where medication and therapies are always enough to cure something. And that also implies that I don’t like the be operated.

For you out there, I just want you to know that you can’t underestimate pain. Look it up and seek specialist’s assistance as soon as you feel something is not right. Especially for you, my male friends. We are strong, we know it. We can ignore a little pain in our body without whining or anything. But, small pain can be the sign of greater pain to come. Just like my back pain, it all started with a small pain that I ignored few years ago and gradually increase in intensity and diversity. It will probably spread to everywhere and you are probably too late to cure it when you find out about its seriousness.

Wah.. my longest post ever. Thanks for reading.

And BTW, the fancy term for my condition is Spinal Disk Herniation.


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