I’m crying not because he’s dead

I’ve just watched the “Dead Poets Society” and makes me wonder

Is the Dead Poets Society a sad movie or is it sad because Robin Williams is dead?

How would I answer this if I’ve never seen this movie when he’s alive?

So I put on my thinking hat and replayed the movie in my mind, thinking about the sad parts.

I cried when he span Ethan Hawke into making a poem in front of a class. I wished I had a teacher like him.

I cried when he was forced to leave the room and Ethan Hawke stood on the table and said “Oh Captain! My Captain”, and others started to follow. I wished I had students like his.

I’m sad when I read in the news telling depressed people to seek help because there are so many people out there that loves him. But most often we are still alive because we don’t want to hurt people around us.

I’m sad after reading the comic saying

Robin Williams’ death helped me understand something. I don’t want to die. My depression isn’t going to win.

I’m sad because people says depression is “bad”, it’s a disorder, having a “wrong” mindset. How can you be sure if you’re the ones with the “right” perceptions? Because the majority thinks the same doesn’t make it right.

Maybe the social norm is the cause of many suicides, the normality is the one forcing people that has a different perspective to feel insecure, doing things to satisfy the need to be accepted and the fear of rejection. But sacrificing own’s soul, the one thing that really matters.

And maybe, they are the reason I don’t want to exist.

In the end, I’m happy that you’ve passed. It’s not your problem anymore, the world is behind you now. Let the living people talk and nothing matters anymore. After all, funeral is for the living, not the dead. We are grieving, but it’s not your business anymore. Rest In Peace, Mr. Williams.

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