It’s raining outside

It’s raining very heavily outside. The wind is strong, the trees are swinging left and right. I hardly see the building on the other side of this road. I hardly see anything beyond that tall tree I don’t know the name of. But I’m not sure what am I feeling right now. Happy? Sad? Happy because I’m sad?

I’ve always liked rain more than sunshine. But rain is mostly associated with sadness, depression. And I think that’s true even for me. But I like rain. I love rain. I wish that I can go out and run in the rain, dancing with a water proof mobile phone and headphone. But is this the sadness I love, or is this happiness?

Maybe I do enjoy being sad. That’s probably sounded funny. But I’ve learned to love my sadness. It’s rewarding. It feels less painful. I’m sad for not being sad often enough. I’m happy to see rain. I’m happy to walk in the rain alone.

But still, I’m not sure what am I feeling right now. Happy? Sad?

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