A couple years ago, I graduated from university and go straight to work. I was young, naive, and life was good. Though full of debts, I was happy with my job.
I was doing great and everybody seems to be happy to have me in the company. Alas, I was hit by depression a few months later.
I started to behave weirdly, angry, and emotional. My team leader said that I couldn’t handle my stress well. I was constantly in fear of failing the tasks that my boss gave me, though I was still receiving good review from my peers. I wanted to quit but I couldn’t find a job other than the similar things that I had been doing there, which is pointless because the reason I wanted to quit is to get away from that environment. So, I quit anyway without a new job in hand.
The worst stress comes from your family
The first thing happen after an unemployment is that you need to cut cost. The first thing I did was to move to my sister’s house. She is single and have an extra room and I’ve stayed there before on and off throughout my student life. My parents visit often and they were all supportive and fine with me being unemployed. I felt relieved and free.
A couple of days later, things started to change. Suddenly they were all worried that I’m doing nothing at home, sleeping for 12 hours a day and has no income. My father think that I’m depressed, duh! How can you say that you are being supportive but turn your back so quickly and complaint that I shouldn’t have quit my job without getting a new one. After that, the everyday’s topic seems to be about my stupidity of quitting my job.
It was boring
I don’t know how you feel when you are so free and useless. For me, it was super boring. My daily activities are browsing for new job, eating, sleeping, and browsing for entertainments. In other words, surviving in the minimum resources. It was boring unless you are fricking rich.
Even though I had enough saving to go travelling, the pressure of disapproval from my family just ruins all the fun. All I was thinking after that is to get out of that house.
The aftermath
I became desperate for a solution and suddenly the stress from my family surpassed the fear of getting back to work. I accepted a job offer that is so far away from my sister’s house and forced me to move out as soon as possible.
I also find out that I’m an Introvert. This explained why I’m so stressed when living around my family.
The whole episode ruins the relationship between me and my family. I still avoid them whenever possible. I marked one of my brother in law as “enemy” and never to forgive him because he tried to kill me and my sister when he’s drunk and driving super fast. Occasionally my mom will call me and ask how is my job and also to make sure that I don’t quit my job without a new one in hand. Annoying.
I can’t trust my family anymore. What they said seems to change in the matter of days. I can’t take their advices anymore. I’m better off myself.
That was a horrible experience and I wish not to repeat it. Shit happen and life goes on. I moved on.
In response to today’s daily prompt.
Phelio Random 